That hurts.
It's not as if I am trying to bring in followers in order to make money off of ads on my site...far from it. I find ads and click bait incredibly annoying, even if it would bring in a little pocket money. My crafting and offering patterns here and through my Etsy shop really don't have anything to do with the money, but rather to share my love of cross stitch and the varying things that I have loved over my lifetime.
Trixie Belden means a lot to me (as my one true reader could tell you... hi Mindy!) because she is a literary character who had a lot in common with myself when I was growing up and feeling alone, living far out of town and away from my few closest friends.
Don't get me wrong, I loved living in the country, and I still prefer living away from the big cities and the bright lights. Give me the sounds of hooting owls and the wind blowing through the trees at night while the moon and stars shine brightly overhead. The best of my days were spent where the scent of warm pine sap filled the air and knowing that I could ride my horse for hours without seeing another human...just me, my horse, the foxes and the deer, and instead of horns beeping and cars driving by with their music blaring, my soundtrack was the birds in the trees.
Growing up that way meant developing a love for nature and, bonus!, a vivid imagination.
It was surprising to me that there never was much Trixie merchandise out in the world, nor any for a lot of the things that I loved as a child. So I made my own, and was happy to do so. I wanted to share it with the world... maybe it would spark a little curiosity to see just who and what this Trixie thing was all about, but mostly it was so others who loved my perfectly imperfect teen detective could have something Trixie to call our own.
But back to the money.
Yes, I do offer a few patterns at a low cost in my shop, but I know I will never make serious money with my Etsy shop. Heck, in the several months I have had items up for sale I have made less than $50. Considering the time it takes me to create, test and give a final approval of my patterns (not to mention searching out the copyright information for the images I use), that means I am seriously underpaid...in fact, it means I am actually losing time and money for allowing Etsy the honor of charging me money and giving me a space to show off some of my favorite patterns.
I think much of the world these days sees something offered for free and just grabs it and runs. That isn't the kind of world I want, and I hope that I never fail to thank someone for a kindness done or something given. If I have, I apologize now, for that isn't the way I was raised, nor the way that I am inside. I never came to the belief that "please" and "thank you" showed weakness, but only gratitude and kindness, and I am truly grateful for the things that I have and the blessings I have been given.
Surprisingly, I am thankful for the hardships that I have, too. Not as thankful as I suppose I should be, because, lets face it, sometimes life sucks, but I do recognize that hardships are lessons and not stumbling blocks, and that holding grudges hurts you and not the person or the situation that may have caused you pain. Life may hand you lemons, but that doesn't mean that you always have to accept them, let alone make lemonade out of those tart little things. Sometimes its best to just hand them back and find yourself another fruit vendor.
But what about the things you can't change?
I have never cared for that saying about how God never gives you more than you can handle, because it just isn't true. God allows things to happen that we can't handle all of the time, which is why we see and read about so many of the broken people in the world. The truth is, God tells us that if we lean on Him then we aren't in this alone, and, through Him, one day all will be made whole. No, there will not be some great tally in the Great Beyond that measures your suffering and says "here's a lollipop (or money, or heavenly mansions on high) to make it all better"... no, I believe the wholeness spoken of is simply acknowledgment of suffering done and a gentle healing of both body and spirit into one healthy whole.
But I digress, don't I? Sorry, I do that quite often, but I usually find that it isn't such a bad thing for me to allow my thoughts to go where they will, as I often get to the core of what I am really thinking that way.
My wonder is when did people get to be so...well... greedy. Why do we love getting and not giving? There are equal blessings to both... and the giving in this case is oh so little.
After all, is asking for a simple "thank you" or "this looks cute" or "I love Trixie too" too much to ask from the world?
I guess it is.
Which is a shame, and just reinforces in me the desire to continue giving, even if I don't get anything back in way of acknowledgment. Its not the "thank you" in the end that I yearn for, nor recognition. I do this for the fact that it simply gives me happiness to have created something that I love, and that, in sharing, this can be something that will lift someone's burden by giving them something to smile about, and knowing there will be some joy in their stitching up something that is strictly just for them.
So where is this all going? Nowhere really, I guess. Just a simple wish in the void for something that my brother once pointed out to me; about how the world would be all the better for the increased use of a few simple words:
"Please" and "Thank You".
You never know just how much you can brighten someone's day by using these until you try. After all, this is such a simple thing to do when you ask for or are given something, but it can mean a lot to the person who is doing the giving, and ever so more to you when you are doing the asking.
Thank you.
